FORGIVENESS IS INDISPENSABLE

The topic of forgiveness in the Bible is extensive. And yet many Christians struggle to actually put what the Bible says into practice. The reality is forgiveness is hard. But while hard, forgiveness also offers us a way into a better life.

Forgiveness is a central theme in the Bible. Forgiveness is a key message in just about every book. Christians are called to forgive others, as God forgives us. But what exactly does the Bible say about forgiveness? The Bible never gives a definition of forgiveness, but it shows us many examples of it. The greatest of all examples is the forgiveness of God (Psalm 103:8-12).

Simply put, to forgive is to let go of the wrongs that have been done to us. The Bible doesn’t stop there. Forgiveness isn’t just given to us. We are called to forgive those around us. Our forgiveness of those who have sinned against us is a reflection of God’s forgiving our sins. The Bible verses about forgiveness fall into two categories, God forgiving us, and we forgiving those around us. 

Changed Heart Attitude and Reconciliation of Relationships

The Bible defines forgiveness as the act of pardoning offenses and letting go of resentment toward someone who has wronged you. It involves a changed heart attitude and a willingness to reconcile broken relationships. It emphasizes responding to wrongdoing with mercy rather than vengeance (Matthew 6:14-15). Rather than demanding justice or payment for offenses against us, we release the offender from guilt and the debt they owe us. As Colossians 3:13 states: “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” This echoes Christ’s teaching that we should forgive “seventy times seven” times (Matthew 18:21-22).

Forgiveness goes beyond merely pardoning someone externally. True forgiveness also involves an internal heart change in how we view the person. According to Ephesians 4:31- 32, we are to “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

Rather than continuing to view them negatively as an “enemy,” we aim to have compassion. While not condoning their wrong behavior, we recognize their humanity and hope for their repentance and restoration. As Jesus prayed from the cross, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34).

Ideally, forgiveness will lead to reconciliation and restored relationship between the two parties once there is repentance and rebuilding of trust. However, even if the offender continues in wrongdoing without repentance, or reconciliation is not possible, we are still called to forgive (Luke 17:3-4). As Christ declared, “Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy” (Matthew 5:7).

Forgiveness brings freedom to both the offended and offender. For the offended, choosing to forgive rather than retaliate or dwell in bitterness allows us to let go of emotional pain and move forward. For the offender, receiving forgiveness opens the door for healing, repentance, and reconciliation rather than condemnation.

Forgiveness also involves letting go internally of bitterness, resentment, and desires for revenge. We make a conscious choice not to dwell on the offense or demand repayment. As Romans 12:19 explains: “Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath.”

Jesus’ Teachings on Forgiveness

In the Gospels, Jesus repeatedly emphasizes the importance of forgiving others. He teaches that God forgives us generously, so we must also forgive others in the same way. For example, in Matthew 6:14-15, Jesus says, “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Here, Jesus draws a direct connection between God’s forgiveness of us and our forgiveness of others.

 Jesus uses parables to further illustrate this point. In Matthew 18:21-35, when Peter asks how many times he must forgive his brother, Jesus responds with the parable of the unmerciful servant. The servant in the story is forgiven a large debt by his master but refuses to forgive a much smaller debt owed to him by another. Jesus concludes, “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.” This highlights that we must forgive others to receive God’s forgiveness.

Forgiveness Requires Admitting Wrongdoing

A key component of true repentance is admitting one’s sins and wrongdoing. Many people struggle to say “I’m sorry” or acknowledge the specific ways they have erred. However, the Bible calls us to confess our sins openly and transparently to others and to God (James 5:16; 1 John 1:9).

Forgiveness starts by taking responsibility for the hurt we have caused through our words, actions, or attitudes. Jesus provided forgiveness to many, but always told them “Go and sin no more” (John 5:14).

Tips for admitting wrongdoing in order to seek forgiveness:

1. Be specific about the offense rather than making a general apology.

2. Use “I” statements such as “I shouldn’t have…” rather than deflecting blame.

3. Validate the person’s feelings if you have hurt or offended them.

4. Assure the person you will take steps to avoid repeating the offense in the future.

5. Ask what you can do to make amends for your actions.

Forgiving Others Who Repent

Just as God is eager to forgive those who repent, we must also be ready and willing to forgive others who sincerely apologize and seek to make amends (Matthew 6:14-15). This can be very difficult, especially when offenses cut deep. But holding on to bitterness and resentment only hurts us, not the one who offended us. When people repent, we should aim to restore the relationship instead of demanding punishment.

Biblical principles for forgiving others who express remorse and repentance:

1. Remember how much God has forgiven you (Matthew 18:21-35.

2. Pray for the strength and grace to forgive them.

3. Let go of the right to seek revenge or demand justice yourself.

4. Wish the best for the person who wronged you.

5. Be willing to start rebuilding trust and restore the relationship.

Genuine repentance opens the door for the miracle of forgiveness and reconciliation. As Christ has forgiven us, we also ought to forgive others from the heart (Ephesians 4:32).

Forgive and Forget:

We often hear the phrase forgive and forget, and this can be misleading. As a response to this phrase, sometimes we hear, “I’ll forgive, but I will never forget.” To forgive and forget does not mean that a person who has been wronged develops some kind of amnesia. A person who has been abused will never forget that it happened. A person who has suffered from an adulterous spouse will always remember that experience. Yet, it is possible for each of these people who have been sinned against to forgive and also to forget, as long as the biblical definition of forget is in view.

In the Bible, remembering and forgetting does not have to do with retention of information in the brain. In Genesis 8:1, after the flood, “God remembered Noah.” Does this imply that for a while God had forgotten about Noah, and then one day He remembered him? No, the biblical concept of remembering has to do with “choosing to act,” and forgetting means “refusing to act” on the basis of something. When the Bible says God “remembered” Noah, it means that God chose to act on Noah’s behalf and sent a wind to help the waters recede more rapidly. God promises that, under the New Covenant, “I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more” (Jeremiah 31:34; Hebrews 8:12; 10:17). God does not forget that people have sinned, but, when He forgives, He chooses not to act on the basis of those sins. It is similar to the sentiment expressed in I Corinthians 13:5 where “love keeps no record of wrongs.” In the phrase forgive and forget, the two terms are really synonyms. Both mean that the person who has forgiven will not continue to hold that sin against the wrongdoer or take it into account in future interactions. A person may remember that it happened, but he or she can choose not to act on it, that is biblical forgetting.

Questions to Ponder in Relation to Forgiveness:

1. Have I confessed my sin and received God’s forgiveness?

2. Is there anyone whom I have sinned against and from whom I need to ask forgiveness?

3. Is there anyone who has sinned against me and has asked me for forgiveness, but I have refused to forgive?

4. Is there anyone I am holding a grudge against for past wrongs?

5. Would I be willing to forgive if the offender asked me for forgiveness?